If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
