you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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