I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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