Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I intend to get homeless drunk
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
