Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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