North Korea, Best Korea!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
