Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
