I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
