He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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