No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
