CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
