..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
