Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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