So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
