I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I checked into jail on foursquare
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
