just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
