i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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