Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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