bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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