I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
