just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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