oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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