I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
