this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
