Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
false alarm. still invincible.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
