I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Randomize
