I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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