Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
