I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
