This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
