The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
