I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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