After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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