Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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