it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
