If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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