I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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