I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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