direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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