i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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