I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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