sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
