More tranny stories later!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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