Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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