Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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