He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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