you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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