Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
