I'm lost and stupid without you.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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