Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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