im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
