I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
