Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
