I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
