i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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