Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
