You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
